Reddit Teachers Are Sharing Their Best “Insults” From Students, and We’re Crying

Kids are ruthless.

Paired image of sandcastle and man with bald head with quote of insults from students

In a profession with so few absolutes, I know one thing for certain: Teachers must be able to laugh at themselves. This skill should be a teaching prerequisite, honestly. People who take themselves too seriously will never make it when they:

  • Accidentally project their neck rolls onto the screen from the document camera instead of a worksheet.
  • Trip over technology cords on a daily basis.
  • Accidentally swap a few important letters in the words “slimy rock cod” when reading aloud Amy Tan’s short story “Fish Cheeks” to a class full of seventh graders.

I may or may not know these things from experience.

Besides mistakes, another area of teaching where it helps to wield one’s sense of humor is when students issue apropos advice, commentary, or critiques. User theatredebatecoach92 recently posted the following query on Reddit:

Best “insults” by a student toward you?
byu/theatredebatecoach92 inTeachers

The question brought in an absolute firestorm of burns from teachers who are experts in laughing at themselves.

Sartorial Critiques

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

Please elaborate?

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

Under His eye.

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

Like a good neighbor.

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

Oh, boy.

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

Ah, one of those.

Physical Snubs

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

Arresting green eyes and highly functional ears?

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

Are. You. A. Baby.

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

There are worse characters to resemble, but still.

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

None of your business, Beckett.

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

I have questions.

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

Brilliant.

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

Stealing this.

Miscellaneous Discourtesies

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

Not sure but I feel like flats and a scarf fit into the ensemble somehow.

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

Love this observation.

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

A bold move.

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

Even more ruthless considering every joke feels like a dud when everyone’s muted.

Comment
byu/theatredebatecoach92 from discussion
inTeachers

So tough.

If you need me, I’ll be handing out ice packs the rest of the day.

(Get it? For these burns?)

What’s your favorite insult from a student (intentional or unintentional)? Let us know in the comments!

Looking for more articles like this? Subscribe to our newsletters.

Reddit Teachers Are Sharing Their Best "Insults" From Students, and We're Crying