Dear WeAreTeachers: I just finished my first year of teaching at 33 years old. I teach math at an alternative high school. Maybe itās since the shutdown happened last spring or since I got married or since I started teaching, but I feel so frumpy! I was a bartender for years and years and would put effort into my appearance for tips. But since the pandemic, my hair has grown out, and I havenāt colored it for more than a year. And then I started teaching high schoolers, and Iāve consciously tried to make myself look presentable but not āimpressive,ā if that makes sense? Anyway, I just feel like Iāve lost my mojo in the last year or so. Or itās shifted, and I canāt identify what my mojo is exactly anymore. How do I get it back? āShabby Not Chic
Dear S.N.C.,
Itās easy to say, āgirl, wash your face,ā but the fact is that a lot of this is mental. I know we all had enough of the self-care messaging over the past year, but truly, taking time for yourself (whether thatās taking a bath, going for a walk, or dressing in a way that makes you feel confident) can help with these feelings. Journaling and counseling can also be helpful ways to explore why you arenāt feeling yourself right now.
Appearances arenāt everything, but how you look can make a difference in how you feel. I talked to middle school teacher Caleb Timothy, who also has experience in working in the service industry. He said, āFind a āuniformā that makes you feel comfortable but also respectable. I can tell you have an outgoing personality, so match your closet with your classroom.ā Caleb also suggests exploring teacher styles on social media and going thrifting.
Above all, go easy on yourself. Teachers are pretty much unanimous that this has been one of the most challenging periods in recent history. Weāre all emerging from our COVID selves and habits at the moment, and what that looks like (and how long it takes) will be different for everyone. And if you feel like your career is the thing holding you back from your true self, thatās worth exploring, too. Hang in there. Iām rooting for you.
Dear WeAreTeachers: Iāve been teaching for five years now, and this class of juniors that I have for English is a straight-up nightmare. Theyāre disruptive and disrespectful, and I spend more time managing behavior than I do actually teaching. I just feel like they continuously set the bar lower and lower by the day.Ā Weāre coming up on the end of the school year, and I canāt tell you how tempted I am to tell them the truthāthat they are, by far, the worst class Iāve had in my entire teaching career. I feel like it would be really satisfying in the moment, but Iāll probably regret it in the long run. What do you think? āPreparing My Mic Drop
Dear P.M.M.D.,
That sounds like a rough group, but I would definitely caution you against acting on this impulse. I asked award-winning teacher Richard Kennedy to weigh in, and he advised, āYou will definitely regret it! The absolute last thing that you want to do is say anything out of emotion or frustration.
āItās obvious that you care about them, and even though they donāt show it, trust and believe that they know. In my experience, the kids who have given me the most hell are the ones that come to see me every day the following year, want me to know how theyāre doing, etc. Some have even apologized. They will always remember how you made them feel.ā
Take a deep breath and push through the end of the year. And let me share what a mentor once told meāno matter how bad things get, you are always reaching at least one student. And that kid doesnāt need to feel guilty by association.
Dear WeAreTeachers: Iām STILL in school, and at this point, Iāve resorted to watching movies with my second graders. I mentioned this to my colleagues during recess and told them what I planned on showing. One had a very strong reaction to my choice because fourth grade does a novel study on Kate DiCamillo, and I wanted to show Because of Winn Dixie. A few minutes after recess, my principal emailed me as I was starting the movie to ask if I was watching something because he wanted to make sure it was rated G. Itās pretty clear my colleague tattled on me, and Iām pissed. Iām also being non-renewed (my colleague only knows that I resigned), so this just sucks. How do I deal with it?Ā āSnitches Get Stitches
Dear S.G.S.,
It sucks to feel like someone told on you. But seeing as youāre leaving anyway, I think the best course of action is to let it go. I donāt see anything positive that could come out of calling your colleague out.
I spoke to a fellow second grade teacher Tanya Jackson, and she said, āIf your principal didnāt say anything about you sharing the video, try not to worry about it.ā It sounds like the concern was around the movieās rating as opposed to you showing a movie at all or a conflict with fourth grade curriculum.
Consider this gentle encouragement to think about how youāre using this time. I know itās the end of the year (and what a year itās been), and youāre exhausted. Tanya advised, āKeeping a routine with students is important. If youāre going to show movies, try to link them to something educational. You donāt want to just to fill up time with students.ā
Dear WeAreTeachers: I am a first year teacher at a private school. Overall, I had a really good year. At the end of our last day of school, I had to have an exit meeting with my admin team. I was feeling pretty good about it based on what colleagues and parents had said about my teaching. When my admin asked me to do some self-reflection about my year, I told them I wanted to continue working on classroom management and finding fair and consistent ways to handle problems when they arise. After suggesting this, they laid into me for about 30 minutes about how I need to build better relationships with my students. This came as a shock because I honestly feel like thatās one of my strengths. They also brought to my attention that I received five parent complaints, which Iād never heard about before. Iām feeling very discouraged and like I donāt want to return to this school. I need some outside perspective. Is this feedback a result of bad administration or bad practice? āExit Wounds
Dear E.W.,
Oh wow. They really caught you off guard. As far as Iām concerned, that was super shady of them to hold that feedback for your exit interview. But thatās coming from a teacher. I felt like this needed an admin perspective, so I asked my go-to principal, Kela Small.
She said, āMy first reaction says this is a result of bad administration. Thereās no reason you shouldnāt have been aware of any parent complaints. Waiting until the end of the year gives you no chance to address any issues or learn from them. Everyone has something they can get better at, but if your admin keeps you in the dark about it, you canāt fully own your development.
āIt doesnāt sound like this school is interested in helping you become a better teacher. Those kinds of places squeeze the life out of even great teachers. Iād start applying for a new job if you can do so without jeopardizing your current position. And in the interview, ask how admin supports teachers who are committed to sharpening their skills.ā
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear WeAreTeachers: One of my students nominated me for an inspiring teacher award last week. I was not expecting it at all. We were at an assembly, and I had to give an acceptance speech on the spot and couldnāt stop crying. Through my tears, I said kind words about the student and her character. The student then gave a short speech about how my class made her a better math student and fall in love with STEM. Later, l felt awkward because no one else cried during their speeches. I feel like everyone was judging me, and I just know theyāre gossiping about me being too emotional for a teacher. What should I do?
